Gandalf, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)I have not updated in a little while but you must excuse me as I have been suffering from Entropic Cascade Failure. For those of you not familiar with Entropic Cascade Failure, it results when you, yourself, arrive from a neighboring membrane universe (I hope you are up on your String Theory physics) into this membrane universe. The two of you may co-exist for a short time in the same universe without problem but shortly thereafter ECF begins to take effect. You find yourselves wavering in and out of reality like a faulty radio wave and it is extremely painful. I noticed the effect most disastrously last week when I ended up in the hospital after a night spent celebrating a friend's fortieth birthday. On the way home, I began to have difficulty breathing, then sharp pains 
in the chest, then no breathing at all followed with cold sweats, inability to stand, etc. I collapsed in a doorway on one of the grand streets here in Montpellier with Devi, my wife, observing in a controlled concern and my first instinct was, "Oh, this will pass. I just need to get home." However, several young people stopped and said something on the order of, "Hey, Mister, you don't look so good. We'd better call an ambulance for you." I did not want that but could not breathe enough to voice my objections, while hearing Devi telling them yes, please, call the ambulance. So, soon I was being whisked away to a hospital, Devi at my side, and I knew I was not completely in reality because rather than being concerned about my state, I could only marvel at how very young and goodlooking the ambulance staff was. In the back of my mind I knew this was not correct thinking on my part, but just could not stop marveling at how young and beautiful they all were. A night spent in the hospital finally resulted in the assurance that no, I had not suffered a heart attack but rather an acute and serious asthma crisis coupled with too much partying at the birthday fête. This sounded strange to me, as I have never suffered from asthma in my life but they assured me that that was exactly the case, having taken ecgs and x-rays and etc. I finally reached home the next afternoon, weak as the proverbial kitten, and thought, "You really do need to send your other you back to his own membrane universe." That me loves to party, drink and smoke and even though he is the same as me in all logical respects, he simply does not behave as considerately towards himself as I normally do. No, this is not schizophrenia, it is just two versions of me existing in the same reality. The original me, the one writing this blog, has not yet suffered the most drastic effects of ECF, but that will eventually occur as well if I do not manage to send the other me back. On a side note, I would like to remark that the two times when Devi and I have needed outside help due to crisis, on both occasions it was young people who stepped up to the bat and lent support, concern and help at the critical moment, once for her and once for me. Kudos to the young people of Montpellier. At 
any rate, to finish the tale, I contacted my primary care physician the day I arrived home and asked him to come by (yes, doctors in France still make house calls). He looked at the materials the hospital had provided, examined me again and told me that perhaps it was not asthma after all but rather acute bronchitis aggravated by the events of the evening, saying, "I can, of course, treat the consequences, but not the cause. That is up to you." Drole fellow. Thus, the necessity of sending the other me back to his own universe, but that is harder than you may think; access to a giant thorium proton accelerator is easier said than done and nothing is as slow as European bureaucracy.
Speaking of "slow" reminds me of my niece's first trip to Paris, oh, fourteen years ago (good heavens! Has it been that long?) and her first experience with escargots. She had watched in fascinated horror when during several meals I had ordered escargots and consumed them with evident relish. She quivered in disgust when I offered to order her a plate of her own but could
not resist staring at me while I ate them. Then, one night at a very nice restaurant on the Champs Elysées, she mustered all her courage and asked me if she could try one, just one. Keeping an appropriately serious face, I replied, "Why yes, of course, and if it helps just think of it as a rather strangely flavored gummy candy." She raised an eyebrow, being too clever to buy that, but nevertheless gamely ate one. After several seconds of thoughful, studious chewing and then several more of reflection, she pronounced them "not bad, not bad at all." I was secretly delighted, but refrained from showing my pleasure as that would have spoiled the moment, instead just nodding and continuing with my plate. Later that same week we went to a restaurant that specializes in escargots and frog's legs, among other delicacies, and she gamely ordered a plate of each, telling me that they were of priceless worth for "gross-out value" when she arrived home and told her friends what she had eaten - but she did enjoy them nevertheless. To this day she complains that you just cannot find a decent croissant in the United States, and this from a woman who has traveled very extensively at home and abroad.
Has anyone ever noticed how often upstate New York occurs in the news, stories, novels, film etc.? It seems to be the stomping grounds for every escaped lunatic, cannibal, sex criminal, on-the-run thug and serial killer on the entire eastern seaboard. Not that it has any bearing on anything, I just happened to notice it the other day during a newscast and catalogued it amongst the plethora of odd facts residing in my brain. On another part of the globe, the citizens of the
island of Lesbos, Greece, have lost their case in the Greek High Court to have the word "lesbian" strictly copyrighted and restricted from universal usage except when referring to a citizen of said island. That made me roar with laughter. I can think of many correlatives for this idiocy, but suffice it to say that this one took home top prize, as far as I am concerned. At any rate, Hail, Lesbians! And you can take that any way you want. One of my friends of the lesbian persuasion (no, not a Greek citizen) once told me of a curious phenomenon known as "lesbian bed death", apparently widely recognized in the lesbian community. It seems that sexual interest dies phenomenally fast in a lesbian relationship and that the remaining values are companionship, friendship and shared interests, all of which I find perfectly reasonable. She, however, was jealous of her gay male friends for whom sexual interest remained high on the list of necessary values in a relationship. I advised her to think twice about that, as high sexual interest may, I say may, indicate an absence of interest in any of the other attributes, although not necessarily, of course. On top of which, men led primarily by their genitals prove remarkably boring at an equally phenomenal rate. What about simply aiming for an equitable balance between all of the qualities in a relationship? If sexual interest dies in the long run, it is hardly a disaster nor the worst thing that can happen to any couple - one might even say it can take the pressure off and leave the couple free to deepen their friendship.For a different trope on lesbians, find and watch the Masters of Horror episode "Sick Girl" - after watching that, lesbian bed death will be your very last concern.
The Masters of Horror series was quite amusing, interesting, horrifying and fascinating all at the same time. I believe it ran during the 2005 & 2006 seasons, two seasons only, each season containing thirteen episodes, each episode written and directed by acknowledged masters of their crafts and genres. My favorite episode occured during the first season, John Carpenter's
"Cigarette Burns", an eloquent and hauntingly beautiful yet terrifying meditation on our fascination with film, violence, secrets and destruction. An absolute coup de génie in the film is the film-within-the-film, "La Fin Absolue du Monde", of which we catch only glimpses but which lead to some very dark imaginings on our part. The images of the tortured and mutilated angel are especially disturbing, signifying whatever you may wish to imagine. For my part it was very particular as, until recently, I had a pair of Halloween angel's wings hung upon a wall with a specially printed plaque that read, "Ylaliel - - - 0 - 2006 A.D. - - - my real name", implying that the wings were a hunting trophy. They no longer hang upon the wall and I keep the plaque in a drawer in my desk. For some obscure 
reason, all of that reminds me of a classic little tale about the frog and the scorpion: One day, a frog was hopping along when he came upon a large pond. Preparing, without concern, to swim across the pond, he was suddenly halted by a scorpion waiting at the pond's edge. The scorpion asked the frog, "I cannot swim. Would you be willing to carry me across the pond upon your back?" To which the frog replied, "Certainly not! For all that I know, once upon my back, you might sting me and I would die." The scorpion answered, "No, I would not do that. If I were to do so, you would die and I would drown. That would defeat the purpose of my 
getting to the other side. You have my word." The frog thought about this and then said, "Well, I suppose you are right. Alright then, climb up on my back and we shall cross the pond together." So the scorpion climbed upon the frog's back and they began the swim across the pond. Suddenly, in the middle of the pond, the scorpion stung the frog, causing its agonizing death throes. The frog gasped, "Why? Why do that? Now we both die." The scorpion responded, "Because, that is my nature."
Just as it is the nature of the Internet to be full of hackers, identity thieves, rogue virus creators, etc., I would advise everyone who owns a computer to be fully protected. It need not cost a fortune, either; as a matter of fact, you can do it quite effectively without any cost at all. I would recommend AT LEAST the following: Avast! anti-virus protection (free); SuperAntiSpyware (free); ZoneAlarm firewall (free); and Bootvis.exe, a kind of check-me-out and improve my performance utility (free). I also use several other performance improving and registry cleaning utilities, but you can find those yourselves, again, free of charge.
On a final and more serious note, two very dear friends in the US have very recently lost a dear and loved mother/mother-in-law to a relentless cancer. To these friends, anonymous though they must remain (J & C), I hope we can all send a thought of condolence.
Until the next,
Leducdor
in the chest, then no breathing at all followed with cold sweats, inability to stand, etc. I collapsed in a doorway on one of the grand streets here in Montpellier with Devi, my wife, observing in a controlled concern and my first instinct was, "Oh, this will pass. I just need to get home." However, several young people stopped and said something on the order of, "Hey, Mister, you don't look so good. We'd better call an ambulance for you." I did not want that but could not breathe enough to voice my objections, while hearing Devi telling them yes, please, call the ambulance. So, soon I was being whisked away to a hospital, Devi at my side, and I knew I was not completely in reality because rather than being concerned about my state, I could only marvel at how very young and goodlooking the ambulance staff was. In the back of my mind I knew this was not correct thinking on my part, but just could not stop marveling at how young and beautiful they all were. A night spent in the hospital finally resulted in the assurance that no, I had not suffered a heart attack but rather an acute and serious asthma crisis coupled with too much partying at the birthday fête. This sounded strange to me, as I have never suffered from asthma in my life but they assured me that that was exactly the case, having taken ecgs and x-rays and etc. I finally reached home the next afternoon, weak as the proverbial kitten, and thought, "You really do need to send your other you back to his own membrane universe." That me loves to party, drink and smoke and even though he is the same as me in all logical respects, he simply does not behave as considerately towards himself as I normally do. No, this is not schizophrenia, it is just two versions of me existing in the same reality. The original me, the one writing this blog, has not yet suffered the most drastic effects of ECF, but that will eventually occur as well if I do not manage to send the other me back. On a side note, I would like to remark that the two times when Devi and I have needed outside help due to crisis, on both occasions it was young people who stepped up to the bat and lent support, concern and help at the critical moment, once for her and once for me. Kudos to the young people of Montpellier. At 
any rate, to finish the tale, I contacted my primary care physician the day I arrived home and asked him to come by (yes, doctors in France still make house calls). He looked at the materials the hospital had provided, examined me again and told me that perhaps it was not asthma after all but rather acute bronchitis aggravated by the events of the evening, saying, "I can, of course, treat the consequences, but not the cause. That is up to you." Drole fellow. Thus, the necessity of sending the other me back to his own universe, but that is harder than you may think; access to a giant thorium proton accelerator is easier said than done and nothing is as slow as European bureaucracy.Speaking of "slow" reminds me of my niece's first trip to Paris, oh, fourteen years ago (good heavens! Has it been that long?) and her first experience with escargots. She had watched in fascinated horror when during several meals I had ordered escargots and consumed them with evident relish. She quivered in disgust when I offered to order her a plate of her own but could
not resist staring at me while I ate them. Then, one night at a very nice restaurant on the Champs Elysées, she mustered all her courage and asked me if she could try one, just one. Keeping an appropriately serious face, I replied, "Why yes, of course, and if it helps just think of it as a rather strangely flavored gummy candy." She raised an eyebrow, being too clever to buy that, but nevertheless gamely ate one. After several seconds of thoughful, studious chewing and then several more of reflection, she pronounced them "not bad, not bad at all." I was secretly delighted, but refrained from showing my pleasure as that would have spoiled the moment, instead just nodding and continuing with my plate. Later that same week we went to a restaurant that specializes in escargots and frog's legs, among other delicacies, and she gamely ordered a plate of each, telling me that they were of priceless worth for "gross-out value" when she arrived home and told her friends what she had eaten - but she did enjoy them nevertheless. To this day she complains that you just cannot find a decent croissant in the United States, and this from a woman who has traveled very extensively at home and abroad.Has anyone ever noticed how often upstate New York occurs in the news, stories, novels, film etc.? It seems to be the stomping grounds for every escaped lunatic, cannibal, sex criminal, on-the-run thug and serial killer on the entire eastern seaboard. Not that it has any bearing on anything, I just happened to notice it the other day during a newscast and catalogued it amongst the plethora of odd facts residing in my brain. On another part of the globe, the citizens of the
island of Lesbos, Greece, have lost their case in the Greek High Court to have the word "lesbian" strictly copyrighted and restricted from universal usage except when referring to a citizen of said island. That made me roar with laughter. I can think of many correlatives for this idiocy, but suffice it to say that this one took home top prize, as far as I am concerned. At any rate, Hail, Lesbians! And you can take that any way you want. One of my friends of the lesbian persuasion (no, not a Greek citizen) once told me of a curious phenomenon known as "lesbian bed death", apparently widely recognized in the lesbian community. It seems that sexual interest dies phenomenally fast in a lesbian relationship and that the remaining values are companionship, friendship and shared interests, all of which I find perfectly reasonable. She, however, was jealous of her gay male friends for whom sexual interest remained high on the list of necessary values in a relationship. I advised her to think twice about that, as high sexual interest may, I say may, indicate an absence of interest in any of the other attributes, although not necessarily, of course. On top of which, men led primarily by their genitals prove remarkably boring at an equally phenomenal rate. What about simply aiming for an equitable balance between all of the qualities in a relationship? If sexual interest dies in the long run, it is hardly a disaster nor the worst thing that can happen to any couple - one might even say it can take the pressure off and leave the couple free to deepen their friendship.For a different trope on lesbians, find and watch the Masters of Horror episode "Sick Girl" - after watching that, lesbian bed death will be your very last concern.The Masters of Horror series was quite amusing, interesting, horrifying and fascinating all at the same time. I believe it ran during the 2005 & 2006 seasons, two seasons only, each season containing thirteen episodes, each episode written and directed by acknowledged masters of their crafts and genres. My favorite episode occured during the first season, John Carpenter's
"Cigarette Burns", an eloquent and hauntingly beautiful yet terrifying meditation on our fascination with film, violence, secrets and destruction. An absolute coup de génie in the film is the film-within-the-film, "La Fin Absolue du Monde", of which we catch only glimpses but which lead to some very dark imaginings on our part. The images of the tortured and mutilated angel are especially disturbing, signifying whatever you may wish to imagine. For my part it was very particular as, until recently, I had a pair of Halloween angel's wings hung upon a wall with a specially printed plaque that read, "Ylaliel - - - 0 - 2006 A.D. - - - my real name", implying that the wings were a hunting trophy. They no longer hang upon the wall and I keep the plaque in a drawer in my desk. For some obscure 
reason, all of that reminds me of a classic little tale about the frog and the scorpion: One day, a frog was hopping along when he came upon a large pond. Preparing, without concern, to swim across the pond, he was suddenly halted by a scorpion waiting at the pond's edge. The scorpion asked the frog, "I cannot swim. Would you be willing to carry me across the pond upon your back?" To which the frog replied, "Certainly not! For all that I know, once upon my back, you might sting me and I would die." The scorpion answered, "No, I would not do that. If I were to do so, you would die and I would drown. That would defeat the purpose of my 
getting to the other side. You have my word." The frog thought about this and then said, "Well, I suppose you are right. Alright then, climb up on my back and we shall cross the pond together." So the scorpion climbed upon the frog's back and they began the swim across the pond. Suddenly, in the middle of the pond, the scorpion stung the frog, causing its agonizing death throes. The frog gasped, "Why? Why do that? Now we both die." The scorpion responded, "Because, that is my nature."Just as it is the nature of the Internet to be full of hackers, identity thieves, rogue virus creators, etc., I would advise everyone who owns a computer to be fully protected. It need not cost a fortune, either; as a matter of fact, you can do it quite effectively without any cost at all. I would recommend AT LEAST the following: Avast! anti-virus protection (free); SuperAntiSpyware (free); ZoneAlarm firewall (free); and Bootvis.exe, a kind of check-me-out and improve my performance utility (free). I also use several other performance improving and registry cleaning utilities, but you can find those yourselves, again, free of charge.
On a final and more serious note, two very dear friends in the US have very recently lost a dear and loved mother/mother-in-law to a relentless cancer. To these friends, anonymous though they must remain (J & C), I hope we can all send a thought of condolence.
Until the next,
Leducdor
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